The Slut Clap and Other Stories

i wasn't kidding in the last post about how my life is either painfully boring or massively busy.  at least i am on the busy side of things now and as such i am having a hard time remembering all the funny things that have happened recently.  i suppose i should go chronologically.

 

on wednesday night taryn, shannon, and i rocked the roots show at the docks.  arguably mid-week drinking has its downside (mostly the waking up to go to work the next day) but we paid no heed and started sometime around 6.  the show started off awesome; the place was full of dudes (bbc!) and we were feeling good.  we were hanging out by the fluorescent palm trees when this little man decided he'd taken a shining to shannon.  although she admired his wee jacket he was a bit of a weirdo, but amusing.  trying to pick up with questions such as 'so, you been to a bar before?' wasn't going to work so he aimed to impress by showing off his flat head.  he was able to balance a beer can on it.  needless to say it didn't turn out well for him!

 

i ended up leaving the show early.  instead of a break between sets most of the group left the stage and there was a long percussion interlude.  its not that i hate drumming since i feel it plays an important role in musical ensembles but i really really don't enjoy drum solos.  especially 15 minute drum solos but by the time the rapping started again, and i was started to enjoy myself more, i sort of realized that i had better get the eff out of there.  if i had just had to go to work the next day i probably would have stuck it out but i knew that thursday was going to be busy and i needed the sleep.

 

although i didn't do yom kippur (synagogue or fasting) i still went to my aunt and uncle's to break the fast.  not terribly exciting but nice.  i like seeing everyone and having a good meal at the same time.  the downside was that i was still pretty tired from the night before.

 

yesterday i came home from work to the perfect phone message: melissa telling me that she and mark were going to scruffy's for a couple of after-work pints and nachos!  obviously i joined them and we just ate and drank until shannon got there around 8-ish.  it was around that point that things start getting hazy but shannon and i have been collaborating today to fill in the rest of the picture.

 

we went down to the madison and, shortly after melissa left, were joined by a posse from k-dub (as opposed to k-town).  and by 'posse' i really mean steve and dale, although at some point in the evening i ended up on the phone with steve's brother scotty who, according to dale, was really hot.

 

i recall a lengthy discussion about "t-bars" and how steve was the self-proclaimed underwear police, including sound effects.  dale was adamant in his hatred of kingston (shitston) but mostly because "the ambassador hotel sucks."  and after looking at the jacket of another patron steve decided he was going to take shannon on a date to varsity blues. then he fell off the bench.

 

if you are in the mood for that sort of atmosphere the madison can be a hilarious place to go out.  dudes outnumber the ladies and there is always something funny going on.  at our table there was a great deal of pointing and shouting (and subsequent embarassment on our part) as the guys loudly beckoned our server by calling him "hung".  at one point steve threatened put his balls on the table so we could see his brazilian.  thankfully that plan got kiboshed!

 

later on shannon and i ended up going to pizza pizza and into a whole other realm of crazy.  the simple act of buying some spicy sauce for the guys in line behind us ensured our entertainment for the rest of the night.  we were offered a night of oral pleasure from jeff, the familiar looking guy with close-set eyes, and ray(?) ate pizza off the table.  shannon ended up getting nuzzled while i was simply put in a headlock.  basically it was the perfect end to the perfect evening!

 

if only this morning hadn't been quite so rough ...

Lamest Long Weekend Ever

so i've been having issues with writer's block the past couple of days.  i wanted to update the blog, i had ideas going through my head, and when it actually came down to writing i froze.  weird eh?  especially since this should not be a particularly stressful endeavor.  i like writing, i like myself, put those two elements together and we have what should be a champion project.  but this writing gig is harder than one would think.

 

so its monday morning, i'm watching ellen, and its like 'memories of unemployment' over here!  everyone is still off celebrating thanksgiving and i am just puttering around the house.  this is my third day of puttering and it is growing tiresome.  remarkably i've managed to accomplish almost nothing this weekend, although i've had all the time in the world.  i did what i love doing though, hit up the library and some bookstores, a couple of music stores, and downloaded that new showcase series 'weeds'.  even with those activities i was pretty bored.  it turns out i don't do well with too much time alone, i need structure and order in my life.

 

when i lived in scotland i had nothing but time on my hands.  even when i was at work i was mostly just on my own getting stuff done.  i had two days a week in glasgow to rock out and socialize with people my own age but that wasn't enough.  by the time matt showed up i was totally mental.  and granted, a weekend alone doesn't compare to three months in scottish solitude, but i think i have a lower tolerance for boredom these days.  so what did i do?  i weaseled my way into an invitation to matt's house.  he was sick, i was bored, it seemed like a good solution.  we ate soup and watched 'shaun of the dead'.  then i went home.

 

but while i was there i couldn't help but notice two record players in his living room.  to premise this i should tell you about the disc my grandfather gave me last week.  in 1934 someone from his family sent a recorded message to someone else in his family on this metal disc that is supposed to be played on a gramaphone.  obviously he was really curious to find out what was on the record and i was more than willing to help out.  so i sent an email to the two people in my life that i thought might have, or have access to, a record player (gramaphones are really hard to come by these days) and waited to see if either of them might be able to help me out.  michael responded in the negative and matt didn't resond at all.

 

but now, with his help, i am going to be able to solve this mystery!  i doubt that the record is very good quality, and it is unlikely that the message will be profound, but it should be interesting to hear one of my dead relatives talk to another dead relative.