Extreme Secret Emotions

lately i've been doing a lot of thinking about secret loves and hates. i think this is partially because of the book i am reading right now (Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman) and partially because it is an idea that i've always liked.

it used to be that i was minorly fascinated by the idea of the arch-nemesis. these are people that, for whatever reason, you feel a passionate dislike of, despite having little or no actual contact with them. there is no need to tell me how ludicrous this concept is as i am well-aware. for example, i have created arch-nemeses in my head for the following reasons: hair-type, question-answering style, and, most memorably, pipe-smoking habits. yes, totally ridiculous, but given that the person is by definition a stranger there is usually little risk of them finding out.

i recently had the pleasure of discovering i was someone's archnemesis. it was a complicated twist of fate that allowed me to garner this knowledge but it truly warmed my heart. however the question remains as to whether or not it is better to be someone's secret hate or their secret love. as i have no real experience or knowledge of being a secret love i guess i am in no position to compare.

all of this thinking about extreme secret emotions has inspired me to evaluate a particular relationship that has confounded me for years. i would be remiss to describe this relationship as extreme since it is anything but, although its sheer longevity is impressive. we have maintained pretty steady communication for approximately seven years yet i know almost nothing about his life. we have similar interests so its not uncommon to find ourselves at the same place at the same time, but it would never be planned that way. periodically this person will show a semblance of an interest in me but typically at the first sign of reciprocation he bails. i suppose this is what fascinates me. even though the unpredictability has almost become predictable i have absolutely no idea what this person thinks of me at all. not even at the most basic level.

so i guess that is the tie-in to my original theme. i just find it interesting how on one level a person can feel passionately about someone they don't even know while on the other you can know someone for ages without ever really figuring out what is going on in their head.

Things That Broke In My Proximity Today:

my iPod
the air conditioner
the weather
the router for the office
the exit sign at work
the air conditioner again
my spirit

Thursday is the New Friday

i left you last time with a bowl of cereal in my hands and the anticipation of going out to meet a guy called bubbles.  well, bubbles wasn't at the horseshoe but the evening was memorable nonetheless.  in the middle of the queen and spadina intersection we crossed paths with james.  it took little convincing to get him to join us for a drink and the show, and, although i paid little heed to the band, the night was fun and i made plans with james to go to another show with him, michael and dave, on friday night.

 

in the cab home shannon and i decided to dd our little sisters.  i mean, its not like they don't want to hear us squawking in the middle of the night!  while kalen had the decency to be a squawker herself it was actually rk that provided the most fodder for our lively discussion.  oh sister, so funny. 

 

friday had the potential for disaster.  i didn't actually drink that much on thursday but i realize now, in retrospect, that a bowl of cereal is not the best base for a night out.  especially a night out that is going to be followed by curry friday.  without any clients in the office it was an ideal environment for bringing in quite odourous food and, as expected, it was delicious but painful. 

 

i slept for an hour after work and went out to meet michael and james.  dave couldn't make it so the three of us headed to baldwin street for dinner, then to a church at grange park for the show.  there were a few things i found peculiar about the evening: like why the first band spent so much time tuning their instruments when the singing could have been most easily confused with non-key-specific wailing; and why i was the cleanest person in the building; and how quickly a whole choir of seemingly normal young-adults can take on the look of glazy-eyed religious fanatics;  but mostly i was curious as to how the singer made the cover of eye magazine this week.  and while i find happy-clappy religious-country music rather entertaining (for reasons other than my embracing of our lord jesus christ) i wasn't too bothered when michael tagged out part-way through the set.

 

and yesterday was a really casual and relaxed saturday.  t, shannon and i just ate breakfast, bought loads of books, watched a movie, went to scruffy's for a pint and some nachos, and i read the paper.  for the first time in my recollection i turned down an evening that involved the wearing of costumes but i have a wedding today and i think i needed to recuperate from my week.  as taryn put it so succinctly 'thursday is the new friday,' which makes my saturdays more chill than they should be.  now i am just enjoying my extra hour and working up the motivation to actually get out of bed!