i was going to wait until i had some pics before i posted but i've decided to regale you with tales of the bachelorette anyway. i will put up pics if and when people send them to me. yeah, i suck, i forgot my camera.
the original plan was to go camping but that was not meant to be. the weather was garbage and sitting in tents by the beach would have been pretty shite.
melissa picked me up saturday morning and we made our way down to farnell's place in rosedale. as we pulled up at the house farnell motioned for me to come inside. she said she had a "surprise" for me. sure enough, i went in and grassick was sitting there watching a football match! i ordered her to get dressed and into the car and we were on our way.
laura hadn't planned daytime activities since we were supposed to be at the beach so we decided to dress harps up and take her bowling. she looked beautiful, although the pictures that i will post later might point otherwise. now, bowling is not known to be the classiest of sports and the cloverleaf lanes across from the canadian tire were no exception. disappointment nearly turned to anger when we were told that the bar was closed. karyn and i were not going to stand for that so we did a trip to the lcbo, then the quickie-mart, and returned with alcoholic beverages for all. i was impressed with the speed and accuracy with which karyn poured vodka into pop bottles in the parking lot, but it wasn't her first time.
we went back to laura's for more drinks, a barbeque and the bachelorette games. the thing with harps is that she is quite tight-lipped about her escapades thus we went into this bachelorette with a mission: to learn more about the secret slut! to be honest the mission was only partially successful but we definitely put in our best effort. i believe she will take her secrets to the grave but we did have a good time trying to get them from her.
i'm finding it hard to describe the night since i ended up getting pretty drunk. i know, thats no excuse, especially since i was taking notes the whole time but my notes are not fully coherent. for example, at some point in the night i wrote down "don't listen to anything this slut has to say" but i don't know why i wrote that or who the slut in question is.
so here are some of my favourite quotes from saturday night:
"i scored 69, i'm done"
"those were some big balls, write that down"
"mr. ellis has a new lady, and she's an adult"
"i guarantee she never washed her crotch"
"who kisses vertically these days?"
"i could out-act any actress"
"he gave me free weed" "aw, thats nice"
"karyn doesn't know this but they were really close" "my memory's not that strong"
the next morning was pretty bizarre. andy and ella came back from the cottage and jill came over with james. we were sitting around laura's living room, a big "leather whorepell" sign up on the wall, the babies were playing on the floor and in the background trent reznor was singing "i want to fuck you like an animal".
i'm not going to publish the results of any of the bachelorette games but, for the ladies that were not able to be with us saturday, do not fret, they are all recorded in my little black book.
