You Can't Take A Banana Anywhere

after my last post it should come as no surprise that i was desperate to get out of the city this weekend, so when an offer was presented to me by the leo sisters i jumped on it. it was our standard tour of cottages but since my parents were away i had ted and dorth fill that void.

this weekend was marked by a series of events that were all about two steps away from being real disasters. and i mean that in the most literal sense. from sketchy characters at the gas station to monkey-like car driving we were always on the verge of getting into trouble, without ever actually being in any real danger. here are the three best (worst?) incidents of this weekend in chronological order:

1. picture the scene: saturday afternoon, clear skies and crisp air. the women-folk were relaxing by the water just reading and chatting. we were feeling a bit peckish, as doing nothing can make you, so andrea brought out some middle-eastern baklava as a bit of a treat. it was less sweet than your average greek baklava and i was satisfied ... for about two minutes. i was soon distracted from the conversation by the odd sensation i was feeling in my mouth. my tongue was tingling and burning, and not in a good way. "umm, i think i'm having an allergic reaction" i said as i tried to remain calm, although i was feeling a bit shaky. a benadryl and two episodes of weeds later i was feeling ok but i suspect my days of eating nuts willy-nilly are over.

2. dinner was ending and we were regaling each other with tales of etiquette mishaps over glasses of wine. kalen was spinning a yarn and moved back in her chair as a look of concern came over her face. we could tell that something was off but it wasn't until we heard the first crack of wood that we knew what was going on. i was able to get my arm out for her to grab, to prevent her from falling, but seconds later it was as though she had judo-chopped her wooden chair into pieces. the chair crumbled as kalen said "no pie for me, thanks."

3. this afternoon i was driving shannon and kalen back from cottage in my usual fashion: by pretending i was participating in a closed-course rally race. unfortunately i was not actually on a closed-course, nor am i rally driver, and when a mini-van approached on a tight turn i had to swerve a bit to avoid a collision. i was never out of control, nor was i close enough to even be concerned, but we were re-living the scenario and laughing because if there had been an accident it would have most-likely been my fault. i was eating a banana and driving with one hand. and i suspect i was going a bit faster than the other car. but i'm sure my defense of "yeah, it was a really good banana so let's not get insurance involved, how bout?" would have held.

now onto my favourite part of weekend-update blogs, the quote section:

"yeah, but i got two beds" long pause "two beds don't mean shit"
"i pretty much have the best-case red-head scenario"
"your eyebrows meet at 2.5"
"i'm too lazy to even have someone ferry me around"
"i was anxiously wanking"
"you can't take a banana anywhere"

and finally, pictures: